Generational Patterns Part 2: The Art Of Mothering

The baby is here! Rylie Kae McNeil was born June 3 at 12:49 am. She weighed 9 pounds and measured 21 inches long. She has a lot of beautiful black hair like her mom. Her mouth and face shape look like her grandpa Robinson. (Everyone has noticed!) She has her dad’s ears and her mom’s dark eyes. These are physical patterns that we can see.

There is also mothering or nurturing patterns that are noticeable as well. There are strong nurturing instincts when it comes to mothering in humans and in the animal world. Mothering brings out the beauty of being a woman. The need to protect and nurture are a powerful part of mothering. This is part of our genetic and our cultural patterns. Bonding between mother and child is important during the time right after birth.

With the two little ones to take care of now, my daughter as a young mother, will be bonding with a new baby and also striving to keep the bond she has with her oldest daughter strong and connected. With the arrival of a second baby in the family, it can mean a huge change for everyone. My daughter and her husband already have a game plan when it comes to handling this transition with a new baby. They have talked and come up with ideas to support their oldest child Lily.

They are aware of Lily and her need to still feel important and valued in the family even with the arrival of the new baby sister. Part of that plan includes:
• Special time with daddy while mom takes care of the baby.
• Alone time with mom while daddy takes care of the little one.
• Letting Lily help with the baby.
• Conversations with Lily explaining that they love Lily, even though there is a new baby in the family.
• Clear boundaries with Lily especially if Lily acts up. Teaching her to ask for love and attention with her words. Reinforcing that “words” are more effective than behavior.
• Focusing on praise when she asks for love in appropriate ways.
• Holding, cuddling, and reading to Lily as much as possible.
• Letting grandparents and other family members offer support.
• Being committed to date night. Knowing that mom and dad are better parents when they have consistent and regular time alone.

In watching this new beginning it brings back memories of my early days of mothering. I was very nervous about taking care of a newborn baby. (Yes, even the best game plan can end up with everyone crying and having an emotional melt-down.) But, there were things that had been modeled to me by my own mother that helped me and then there was information that came naturally to me about mothering. Also, I learned along the way what worked for each child and what didn’t. Confidence was established in me and my mothering abilities. It came over time.


Patterns of nurturing and mothering passed from my mother to me, are now being shown to my daughter, and she is modeling these same patterns of mothering to her oldest daughter Lily, who is watching and participating in taking care of a new born baby sister. And if you think about it, the baby is also learning about patterns of love and mothering through her experience. She is learning what nurturing feels like and the connection and bonding that her mother is expressing to her. This new little baby is actually learning, through her experience as a baby, about this special love that is created between mother and child. And when she grows up and becomes a mother herself, the art of mothering will continue to be passed on to yet another generation. Mothering is a part of our genetic and emotional patterning. The art of mothering illuminates the beauty of being a woman.

Generational Patterns Part 1

A new baby is coming into our family in the next few days. It is a new beginning for her and for us. She will be joining her sister Lily who is almost three. She will join us genetically and also in our family emotional patterns whether they are healthy or unhealthy. These generational patterns are not hers, but will be what she inherits as she takes on her body.

She is our second grandbaby and we are so thrilled about her arrival. We wonder what she will look like. Will she be dark haired or lighter in coloring? What will be the color of her eyes? What will her smile look like, her hands and feet? When her laughter joins her sister’s giggles, a friendship from heaven will be renewed.

We have been preparing for her for a long time now. There have been many who have come before her to provide a place for her here on earth. Their preparations include physical and spiritual preparations. Each family member has made a contribution to what we call “family” and “family learning”. I wonder what contribution she will make to our “family learning”?

We know her already, we know her from before we came here. Her body will not reveal her, but she will be familiar. How much of an influence will the genetics or “nature” have in her life? How much will “nurture” or her environment have in her life? We know that both factors will impact her.

We also know that her will can have power to over ride the effects of both. What patterns will she reject that she feels are no longer useful for her and what will she embrace and make her own?

Generational patterns include both genetic and emotional patterns as part of our life’s story. These patterns provide learning material and are part of our life’s curriculum. Musical, mathematical, linguistic strengths and other kinds of genius are born in families. Tendencies for addictions, anger, or depression also run in families.

Health conditions and genetic patterns for health and illness come with this physical body. These certain tendencies in so many different areas provide strengths to the individual and certain tendencies provide struggles or weaknesses. Strengths and weaknesses provide opportunities for learning and growth.

As grandparents I pray that we will help her navigate through this world and her generational patterns, so that she can fulfill her dreams, her life purpose and mission. Thank God for her new beginning and for our opportunity to begin again as grandparents. We hold a deeper commitment to express our love in better ways than ever before. We have a desire to model respect for self and respect for others through self-mastery and effective communication. We welcome this baby with hope for new and improved family patterns for her and hope for a better world for all of us.

Check in next week for info about her birth and more about generational patterns.

It's Time Again for Our Children's Clinic!

Your children ages 4-11 are invited to join us for our next children's clinic on March 19, 2011. We'll work on developing an awareness of our feelings and learn some healthy ways to deal with anger, sadness and loss. The children will work through a coloring concept book and also participate in a discussion, games and a craft project. Parents are encouraged to attend with their child.

Details:
Date: Saturday, March 19, 2011
Time: 4-7 yrs 10:00am - 11:00am
              8-11 yrs 11:15am - 12:15pm
Location: Institute of Healing Arts
Cost: $25 per child, $20 for each additional child
To Register Call 801-785-5259

We Did It!

We just completed our annual ropes course! Ropes is an awesome experience where participants are afforded the opportunity to look at self-limiting beliefs and make new choices about the way they face life. No one walks away from this full day in the woods without re-evaluating what's possible and what they're really capable of. What's holding you back? Thanks to those who participated this year (and braved the weather), we hope to see you all next year!

Children's Clinic

Your children ages 4-11 are invited to join us for a special children's clinic on November 13, 2010. We'll work on developing an awareness of our feelings and learn some healthy ways to deal with anger, sadness and loss. The children will work through a coloring concept book and also participate in a discussion, games and a craft project. Parents are encouraged to attend with their child.

Details:
    Date: Saturday, November 13, 2010
    Time: 4-7 yrs   10:00am - 11:00am
                   8-11 yrs   11:30am - 12:30pm
    Location: Institute of Healing Arts
    Cost: $25 per child, $20 for each additional child
    To Register Call 801-785-5259

Ropes Course!

Join us for one of the highlights of our program. Friends, family, students and alumni, 16 years and older, are invited to attend our all-day outdoor event on Saturday, October 23, 2010. Spend the day connecting to nature, yourself and others while participating in group and individual activities. The course is very safe and you can choose to participate as much as you want. This is a marvelous opportunity to challenge yourself and break through self-limiting beliefs. It is all done in a supportive environment designed to help you connect with yourself and experience your world in a new way. Skilled staff will guide you through an unforgettable journey to greater self-awareness, trust, and empowerment.

Details:
    Cost: $95/person, including students
    Date: Saturday, October 23, 2010
    Time: 8:45 am
    Location: American Fork, UT
    Registration & Payment Deadline: October 14, 2010
    What to wear: Dress for the weather, in outdoor clothes.
    What to bring: Lunch, snacks and water

Registration and release forms are available from the IHA. Note that for students, Ropes is part of their course requirements.

We invite you to join us for a new session of our year-long program. We offer both on-campus and off-campus options. We have students in many locations around the world. For a limited time, you can take advantage of our special offer:

1 yr Emotional Health Course Beginning Sept 16th, 2010 Options: Thursdays 9am-3pm Thursdays 5pm-9:30pm Independent Distance Learning Class in Spanish TBA Join with a friend Special!! Buy 1 and get 2nd at Half price* This is a savings of $1650 for 2 students. If the savings is split it will reduce your regular tuition of $275 per month to about $200. Offer good through September 2010 Call Now to Register 801 785-5259 139 S. State St. #6 Lindon, UT 84042 *If you don't have a partner, ask to be matched with another new student